


Living for Today

by Stariceling



Series: New Years [3]
Category: Yoroiden Samurai Troopers | Ronin Warriors
Genre: Angst, Dubious Consent, Lemon, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-03-07
Updated: 2004-03-07
Packaged: 2017-12-05 10:25:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/722001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stariceling/pseuds/Stariceling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The person Touma wants is out of reach, but to his surprise someone else has been watching him. In spite of Touma's reluctance, Anubisu manages to forge an odd relationship with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In this fic I used "Anubisu" in an attempt to make it clear it's Anubis/"Cale" (with the cross-shaped scar) not Shuten/Anubis  
> Second note: Tenku is the name of Touma’s armor. Similar to calling someone by their last name, Anubisu is being rude and calling Touma by his armor name.  
> This fic takes place after the events of Countdown to the New Year and Living in the New Year.
> 
> Tagged as dub-con because while it is meant to be consensual, Touma's consent is problematic. Particularly in the first chapter.

A soft spring rain had been falling on and off all day, creating a very cozy atmosphere in the Koji household. Touma had managed to monopolize the couch after dinner, and was thinking about just spending the night there. The house was warm and quiet and humid from the rain.

Even through the dim, sleepy atmosphere Touma could recognize the low murmur of Seiji’s voice when he heard it. Turning on his side, Touma could see the small space in front of the stairs where Seiji was standing. As he watched, Shin stepped forward into his line of sight, one hand fluttered up from his side, almost dreamlike in Touma’s eyes, to touch Seiji’s forehead softly, checking for a fever.

The movement was surprisingly beautiful to Touma, though he felt as if he was seeing the two by the stairs through a smoky veil. The soft expression in Shin’s eyes and the gentle touch of his hand spoke more clearly of Shin’s feelings then any words.

Touma couldn’t hear their soft words from where he lay on the couch. All he could distinguish was the rise and fall of their voices. The was okay. He didn’t want to hear what was said between them. He didn’t want to look either, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away. He saw Shin’s lips form his friend’s name, and it was like a physical blow. It was a painful reminder that he would never be the one standing across from Shin, receiving his affection. That was Seiji’s place.

Kissing Shin’s forehead, Seiji left him, walking off up the stairs and out of Touma’s line of sight. Shin, on the other hand, approached the couch where Touma was laying and leaned on the armrest. He looked worried, though Touma couldn’t figure out why.

“Touma, I’ve been meaning to ask.” Shin chewed his lower lip nervously, as if he wasn’t sure what he wanted to say. “Does it bother you that me and Seiji, and Ryo and Shu . . .” he trailed off, but Touma understood what he meant perfectly.

“I don’t care that you’re gay,” Touma answered quickly. It was true. Personally, he wanted Shin to swing that way. The only problem was that Shin wasn’t at all interested in him personally. “Heck, you all outnumber me anyway.”

“I knew you wouldn’t care about that,” Shin explained softly. “It’s just that it doesn’t seem right to me that you’re all alone.”

“It doesn’t?” Touma was shocked. Was Shin thinking what Touma hoped he was thinking? Touma sat up, forcing down his elation and his sudden urge to just pull Shin down on the couch with him in favor of caution. “What do you want to do about it?”

“I thought if there was someone you liked, we could help.” Shin explained. He seemed to be choosing each word carefully. “Ever since Seiji and I got together you’ve been acting very depressed.”

Touma could see what he was trying to do. He was asking if Touma had a crush on Seiji of all people, and probably praying like crazy that the answer was no. Touma got up and stretched. He was going to go to his room after all. Anything to get away from this conversation.

Shin followed him upstairs. His own silent little shadow. No matter how much it would hurt to say it, Touma realized he should tell Shin something to put him at ease.

“You know, I don’t really have a crush on anyone,” Touma lied. “Thanks anyway.”

“Goodnight, Touma.” Shin looked like he wanted to say more, but he held it in and turned to enter Seiji’s room.

No, it was their room now, Touma reminded himself, feeling ill at the thought. Why should he still reject the idea when Shin slept in there every night? And why should he torture himself imagining what went on behind that door? Because there was no way to not think about it.

As Shu had so bluntly pointed out only a few days ago, they were a couple and they should have been the first to suggest moving in together, not wait until he and Ryo rearranged things. They were both so embarrassed by it that Touma was suddenly sure that all of the times Shin had visited Seiji hadn’t led to anything sexual.

That made the feelings Touma harbored hurt him even more. The thought that Shin might still be a virgin, untouched in spite of his time with Seiji, was almost too much for Touma to bear. Even if Seiji hadn’t done anything to Shin yet, Touma would never have a chance with him. There was no way around that. Even though Touma considered Seiji his best friend, he couldn’t forgive him for this.

Would Seiji have still taken Shin if he knew how much he was going to hurt Touma?

Damn! Touma cursed himself, slamming the door to his room shut and stalking off downstairs. He couldn’t sleep on these thoughts. He needed to get outside, to clear his head. Seiji used to run off like this all the time before . . . No. He couldn’t think about that. He didn’t want to call Seiji a traitor, not even in his own head. He didn’t want to think about his best friend like that.

The outside world was muddy and damp. This cold, dark world was just as distasteful to Touma as the inside of the house. Even the familiar stars were darkened, obscured from his view by clouds. Very well. Touma would keep going until he found somewhere more welcoming then this.

With only that goal in mind, Touma set out into the night. If he had known that even at that moment he was being watched things might have turned out differently. As it was he disappeared into the darkness, wandering off into the forest in search of a little peace.

Even without realizing it Touma was heading for a particular spot. With his thoughts occupied with trying not to think, he unintentionally set his course for a small spring he had discovered. He had briefly harbored plans to take Shin there. Halfway there he realized his mistake and stopped dead in the middle of the trail. That was the last place he wanted to go right now. On the other hand, he had no idea where else he should go.

“Lost, Tenku?” Came a low, familiar voice from behind him. Touma whirled around, shocked, but could see no one. He recognized that voice. Now, if only he could figure out where it was coming from.

“Show yourself!” The apparently disembodied voice chuckled, amused by his frustration. Touma turned again. How did Anubisu keep getting behind him? “Come on! You don’t even have a good reason to be up to your stupid tricks again!” Touma shouted into the darkness.

There was no response, though Touma could almost feel Anubisu circling around behind him again. No, he had no proof the former Masho was even there anymore.

“I don’t have time to play with you,” Touma muttered defiantly. He chose a direction at random and started walking again. He didn’t care where he ended up now, so long as he lost his unwanted company.

The further he went, the darker the night seemed to become around him. Touma wished he could scream out his frustration. They were no longer at war with the netherworld, so why was Anubisu tormenting him now? Touma wanted to start running, or turn around and head back home, but somehow he felt as if that would mean giving in to Anubisu, and, as little as he wanted to admit it, Touma was becoming disoriented. He wasn’t sure he could find his way back in this unnatural dark.

“Don’t be difficult Tenku,” Anubisu materialized out of the shadows right behind Touma now. His hands descended onto Touma’s shoulders, their grip was startlingly strong. “If you continue on this way you might get hurt.”

For a single instant Touma felt himself almost enjoying the feeling of a warm body at his back, then he jerked away. He spun around as his elbow came up to smash into Anubisu’s face, startling him enough to make him let go.

“Don’t fuck with me!” Touma screamed at the man whom, he hoped, was laying prone behind him. He could only hope Anubisu could be knocked out by such an unplanned blow.

Thinking only of getting away, he took off. His eyes were open as wide as he could make them against the dark to catch even a shadowy glimpse of what lay ahead of him.

Touma ran. He hadn’t been able to do this for a long time, just stretch his legs out and run. For a moment he wasn’t even running from anything, just wanting to feel the cold night air in his face. The sensation was as close as he could come to flying without his armor.

In the next second, in one sickening lurch, the world turned upside down around Touma. He stretched out in his next stride and found nothing beneath his foot. Falling forward, Touma didn’t even have the presence of mind to cry out. He was too stunned.

Then, after only an instant of the weightless feeling of falling into nothing, Touma hit the ground. Pain shot up his leg as it crumpled beneath him, sending him sprawling into the dirt. Touma could only lay there, stunned, struggling to regain the breath that had been knocked out of him.

Even over the painful throbbing in his head, Touma could hear running footsteps. Anubisu still hadn’t given up, and Touma wasn’t sure he could fight him off just now. He wasn’t even sure he could stand.

“Fool,” Anubisu cried, kneeling beside Touma in one swift motion. Touma closed his eyes, still breathing hard as Anubisu’s hands began to move over him, supposedly checking for injury. Touma tolerated this until Anubisu came to his injured leg. He sat up suddenly, making a loud, agonized noise.

“Don’t touch,” he moaned, pushing the hands away. Anubisu would not be detoured. He began to lift Touma while he was still in no condition to struggle properly.

“I warned you, Tenku,” he murmured, trapping Touma’s arms at his sides and lifting the struggling boy up onto his shoulder. Touma could feel blood soaking, warm and sticky, through his pants. What did Anubisu plan on doing with him now? Touma cursed himself for ever being stupid enough to wander around without his armor orb.

“Don’t worry,” Anubisu said as he started off, to where Touma had no idea. “You will come to no harm.” Touma made an angry noise into his captor’s shoulder. He was already hurt, and quite inclined to blame Anubisu for it.

Touma had no idea how Anubisu found his way without sight. After traveling through what seemed like miles of featureless, unending darkness Touma felt something that made his stomach shift with dread. The feeling of passing through a netherworld gate was one he would never fail to recognize. He had half a mind to start struggling again, but he knew that this time it would do him no good. He was in Anubisu’s territory now.

The gate let right inside Arago’s castle. Touma had seen enough of it before to recognize the dim interior. He felt sick. The war was supposed to be over, so why was Anubisu abducting him? Was he a hostage now? Touma would have liked to at least hit his captor, but Anubisu’s grip was too firm and his position was too awkward to wriggle free.

After being lugged through dim, silent corridors, Touma was almost glad to be let down at last. It was just another silent insult that Anubisu chose to set him down on the table, not trusting him on his feet. Touma guessed he was in Anubisu’s private rooms. None of the other Masho seemed to be there. This much assessed, he attempted to sit up.

A jolt of pain shot through Touma’s wounded leg. He wasn’t going to be running away from Anubisu again, not that he really wanted to anymore. Even though he was still inclined to be angry with Anubisu, Touma realized that the other man was probably just trying to help. He just shouldn’t sound so damn creepy if he was trying to help someone, Touma thought angrily.

“I would not have expected such foolishness from you.” Was this Anubisu’s idea of being conversational? He wandered around the room, gathering together various objects from dark shelves. After the enveloping darkness of the woods even the sparse candlelight seemed to be enough for Touma’s eyes. “Still, someone has to look after you.”

Anubisu turned back to Touma, who scooted away as much as he could while still confined to the table. He refused to trust whatever medieval forms of medical treatment Anubisu might be thinking of using on him.

“Now wait just a minute. Isn’t it bad enough that you had to drag me all around in the dark?”

Anubisu was already at work getting Touma’s pants off. Touma hadn’t realized that the other man could move so fast. Before he could even resist properly Anubisu had his pants, shoes, and socks scattered about him on the floor. Touma felt himself flushing with surprised embarrassment.

“That’s enough!” Anubisu’s hand had found the waistband of Touma’s boxers. Touma grabbed Anubisu by the hair and forced his head down so that he was right in front of Touma’s injured leg. “If you’re going to help then bandage that and be done with it.”

“Don’t tell me how to do my work.”

Touma squirmed, uncomfortable, as Anubisu checked his legs for injury. His jeans had taken some of the bite out of his fall, but it still hurt. Touma risked a glance down at the wound that had been giving him so much trouble. A gash went from his knee halfway up his thigh. It was still bleeding a little, but Touma didn’t think it looked like he had broken anything, as much as it hurt.

Anubisu’s hands moved back up again, resting on Touma’s boxers for a second time.

“There’s nothing wrong there!” Touma insisted, bracing his uninjured leg on Anubisu’s shoulder and pushing as hard as he could to force the older man away.

Anubisu grabbed his foot. “Quit playing around!” He yanked, unbalancing Touma, and bit his ankle hard as punishment. Touma cried out in surprise as he fell back.

Seizing his chance, Anubisu snatched at Touma’s underwear and had it down to his knees before Touma could steady himself. Touma grabbed the hem of his shirt in both hands and stretched it down to cover himself.

“Pervert! Lech! What did you do that for?” Touma shouted as Anubisu tossed his boxers away, perfectly calm. Apparently satisfied with Touma’s state of undress, he began to clean the wound properly, ignoring his patient’s angry fuming.

“Not as grievous as I’d expected,” he informed Touma, who sulked. The hands on him were surprisingly gentle considering Anubisu’s treatment of him so far. His touch was firm on the uninjured areas, but soft where he might hurt Touma. Touma caught himself almost enjoying it. It wasn’t like anyone else would touch him, after all.

“What were you doing lurking around, anyway?” Touma asked, feeling a need to break the silence before he ended up enjoying the touch more than he should.

“You find it suspicious that one of us would be nearby?” Anubisu’s hand slipped a little higher then it needed to, more of a caress then anything else. Touma chose to ignore it.

“I find it suspicious that I was being stalked.” Touma would allow no leeway in his argument. That was exactly what it had felt like, and he wasn’t about to forgive it.

“I suspected such a reaction.” Anubisu was wrapping bandages around Touma’s leg now, and he managed to make this an unnaturally sensual activity, bending down to spread his hot, moist breath on Touma’s thigh as his fingers brushed it teasingly. “You should realize that I have been,” Anubisu paused, then smirked at his own choice of words as he continued, “stalking you for quite some time.”

“And why would you want to do that?” He should be done now, Touma thought to himself, tensing up. Why wouldn’t Anubisu take his hands off of him?

“Haven’t I made my intentions obvious?” Anubisu pinned Touma’s legs to the table. His tongue teased along the inside of Touma’s un-bandaged thigh, stopping only when he came to the hem of his shirt.

“I’ve been keeping careful watch on you, so I’m sure,” Anubisu continued, “you haven’t been claimed. In fact you’ve been left quite alone.” He smirked, his hands starting to fight with Touma’s for the shirt. “That is good news for me.”

“Shut up! You don’t know anything!” Touma found himself thrown back, his head hit the edge of the table, momentarily stunning him. Anubisu’s hand was dangerously close to his injured leg, and Touma felt a sudden jolt of fear that made him freeze. Anubisu could really hurt him if he struggled, and he probably would. His shirt was removed without a struggle, and Touma shivered, not just from cold.

“What don’t I know?” Anubisu’s hands made their way over Touma’s bare chest, making him shiver. His mouth found it’s way to Touma’s throat and began to suckle on the vulnerable skin. “Have your affections been spurned by one of your teammates?” Touma squeezed his eyes closed. How could Anubisu know?

“Is that your reason to refuse me in turn?”

Touma shook his head. He felt like a specimen ready for dissection on the cold, stone table. He didn’t want to think about what Anubisu was planning on doing to him. He didn’t want to think about those warm hands, or the firm touch slowly coaxing him to stop resisting.

“Good.” Touma whimpered as Anubisu’s hand slipped down into a very sensitive area. When had he agreed to this? He shuddered, suddenly realizing that shaking his head had become consent in Anubisu’s mind. Anubisu’s hand was clenched between his legs. No one had ever touched him there. He didn’t think he even wanted to be touched there, not by his former enemy.

“Relax. My sweet Tenku.” Anubisu’s tongue flicked out to taste the nearest bit of skin. Touma shook his head. How could he relax? The tip of Anubisu’s finger tested his entrance and Touma’s muscles clamped down around it, trying to force it out.

“Please,” Touma trembled. He didn’t want to say anything, but . . . Anubisu’s hands were in intimate places, untouched and unexplored places. Touma found himself slipping. He might start to enjoy this.

“Please what?” Anubisu’s hands went to the belt of the loose robe he was wearing. Touma had to shut his eyes and remind himself to breathe. The table was cold under him, but Anubisu’s body on top of his was hot, burning. He was already naked and at this man’s mercy, he reminded himself. He had no pride left to salvage, and the alternative must be worse.

“Don’t hurt me.”

Anubisu went still for a single moment as Touma tried to shrink away from him. “You think I’m going to rape you!”

Touma glared, suddenly defiant again. Of course he thought Anubisu would just take what he wanted.

Anubisu’s eyes were so cold it hurt to look straight into them. His robe had already slipped down off of his shoulders, and he flung it into Touma’s face.

With Anubisu’s back to him Touma suddenly couldn’t help staring. The older man’s flesh was covered with scars that stretched and moved with the muscles that flexed under his skin. Touma couldn’t tear his eyes away even as Anubisu began to push down his pants, hands moving slowly. Touma didn’t want to look, but even after what had just happened he couldn’t help watching Anubisu touching himself.

“Anubisu,” Touma hardly knew that the hoarse whisper was his own voice. He clutched the discarded robe close to his chest, breathing in Anubisu’s scent from it. He bit back the urge to moan as he lay back down. He shouldn’t watch this, not when he already knew all too well the feeling of those hands on his own body.

“What did you say?” Anubisu was back, leaning over Touma, bracing his hand on the table by Touma’s head. The other hand was still in his own pants. “Say it again.”

“Anubisu,” Touma whispered. The robe was snatched out of his hands and pulled away, exposing him again.

“Tell me what you want,” Anubisu’s glare held no room for argument. “Infuriating child.”

“What if you don’t like the answer?”

“I’ll dump you back at the sorry doorstep I found you on.” Touma bit his lip. This was a chance to get home unmolested. He could get out of this nightmare. He could . . . but his head throbbed uncontrollably, demanding something else.

“If we . . .” Touma let himself arch up into the warm body above him. He couldn’t say it. His body was burning to have Anubisu’s on top of it. He wanted to beg for attention, to scream for Anubisu’s touch, but he couldn’t make a sound.

Anubisu understood. He wrapped his arms around Touma, hugging him against his chest. In that instant Touma was lost. He felt he might be swallowed up by this scarred man, and couldn’t even bring himself to regret it. Anubisu was so hot, his breath and his body alike. Their erections rubbed together, setting Touma’s hips moving helplessly as he gasped Anubisu’s name again.

“Not another word,” Anubisu commanded. He sucked two of his own fingers, then kissed Touma, his tongue slipping inside Touma’s mouth as his fingers pushed into Touma from the other end. Touma could only moan his consent as Anubisu began to work his fingers slowly in and out.

Touma slipped his arms around Anubisu’s neck, his head tilted up to allow Anubisu better access as he moved lower. Anubisu sucked and bit at Touma’s neck with a mix of passion and possessiveness. His fingers left Touma, making him push back unconsciously, wanting more.

Pushing Touma’s legs apart, Anubisu forced Touma’s injured leg flat against the table, keeping it still and out of the way and stretching the limits of Touma’s flexibility. Touma made desperate noises against Anubisu’s shoulder as he felt the erection pressing against his opening. He wouldn’t be able to stop now.

Anubisu caressed familiarly between Touma’s legs before he pushed forward, groaning his pleasure as he buried his length in Touma in one long, slow stroke. Touma clutched at the man above him, tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes. He gasped wordlessly as Anubisu paused, muscles shaking in the effort of holding back, and stroked Touma’s arousal back to full force again.

“You feel so good, Tenku,” Anubisu breathed against Touma’s ear. He wrapped one arm around Touma’s shoulders, resting it under Touma’s head. His other arm had slid between them and now he had a firm hold on Touma’s member, his hand clenching and unclenching to tease him. “My Touma,” He added possessively.

Touma barely noticed the words. Now that the first pain had faded he was pushing his hips up, asking for more. His body ached for touch, silently begging for the completion that only the other man could give him. Pined the way he was he could only rely on Anubisu to give him what he needed.

Anubisu was quite willing to oblige him.

Pinning Touma firmly to the table, Anubisu began to screw the helpless body beneath his in quick, hard thrusts. He was sure he had never felt anything that could compare to the hot, tight, slippery body under him and around him, driving him mad until he could barely remember to breathe. He returned his mouth to Touma’s neck, sucking eagerly, leaving a mark to claim the body he’d dreamed about for so long as his own.

Touma bit down on Anubisu’s shoulder, tasting sweat and musk. He wanted desperately to scream, but was afraid what words might come out if he did. He dug his fingers into Anubisu’s back, trying desperately to get closer to the man who was doing this to him. His entire world had broken, leaving only Anubisu, pumping heat into him, claiming him. His wounded leg slipped, banging sharply against the table, but the pain only found its way to the burning between his legs, adding to his pleasure.

Screaming Touma’s name, Anubisu climaxed. His hands clenched over Touma, producing a matching shriek. In only a few rough, spasming strokes he managed to push Touma to his own orgasm before collapsing onto the prone body beneath him. His breath came in shuddering gasps as he tried to regain his scattered senses. Touma groaned beneath him, slowly relaxing his death grip on Anubisu’s back.

Smiling, Anubisu left a kiss on Touma’s forehead before he forced himself to his feet, trying to avoid crushing the suddenly fragile seeming body even further. Touma’s eyes drifted closed sleepily, too worn out to even be embarrassed about what they had just done. Anubisu watched his new lover fondly out of the corner of his eye. Even the peaceful action of breathing in and out was endearing to him.

Touma’s mind was taking a long time to pull itself back together. Something had changed in the short time he had spent in this darkened room, but he couldn’t work out what it was. Anubisu moved to cover him with his robe before he could he could even cool down enough to ask for his clothes back, and he found himself lifted gently into Anubisu’s arms and transferred to the bed.

“You’re mine now,” Anubisu whispered, stroking Touma’s hair away from his face. “Mine.”

Something in the back of Touma’s head seemed to be putting things back into place, something that insisted he should protest to this . . . something . . . Touma was too sleepy to figure it out. After weeks of miserable sleepless nights he was only too glad to snuggle up against Anubisu’s warm body and slip into sleep.

It was hours later when Touma woke again. Even in the dark he could recognize his own room. He couldn’t be sure how he had ended up back home, but it was more then obvious that what had happened with Anubisu was no dream. Though he had been cleaned up slightly, he could still smell Anubisu on his skin.

Not to mention that he was still nearly naked, and wrapped in Anubisu’s robe.

“Oh . . .” Touma groaned as his body started to ache in wake of the realization of what had happened. “Oh shit . . .” Words flew back to his now coherent mind, the last thing he had heard before he had fallen asleep. He didn’t know how to deal with this. Anubisu would be back for him, he had no reason to doubt that, and then what would he do?

‘You’re mine now,’ Anubisu had said, ‘Mine.’


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Hai’ can be basically translated as ‘yes.’ For some reason it seemed to fit better than ‘yes,’ just this once. Otherwise, notes from the first chapter apply.

Ever since what had happened with Anubisu in the netherworld Touma hadn’t been feeling quite right. He doubted the others would even notice, they were so caught up in each other. Well, Shin noticed. He noticed just about everything. Sometimes Touma hated him for it, but right now it was the only comfort he had.

“Are you feeling better?” Shin asked, stroking Touma’s hair back from his face.

“A little,” Touma lied. Physically he was fine, but he wanted a little sympathy. He was stretched out on his bed, his head in Shin’s lap. He was sick of being the fifth wheel in this house. He wanted attention.

Turning on his side, Touma kneaded Shin’s thigh with his hands. Seiji hadn’t been home for a whole week. Touma wondered if Shin was also lonely at night. Did he also long for another warm body beside his? Would he be willing to take Touma up on it if he offered to share the night with him? Seiji never did like to share. He wouldn’t stand for it. He might be angry with Touma just for what he was doing now.

“Touma,” Shin whispered. He stroked Touma’s forehead, feeling for his temperature. Touma sighed. His thoughts were turning in directions that they shouldn’t. Shin was too trusting sometimes. If he wasn’t carful he was really going to get taken advantage of. The softness of his hands brushing Touma’s face complimented the softness of the lax muscles supporting his head. It would be so easy to steal some of that soft innocence. It would take only few moments to corrupt that tenderly smiling mouth. . .

Touma forced those thoughts down. He couldn’t do those things to Shin. No matter how Anubisu had treated him, there was little he could do to fix it. He couldn’t spread that on to someone else, especially not his best friend’s lover.

“I think I feel a little better,” Touma insisted, turning back over to look up at Shin. “Maybe if I just get a good night’s sleep. . .” He trailed off hopefully.

“I worry about you. You’re hurting inside, aren’t you?” Shin stroked Touma’s hair fondly. “I’m sorry. I can’t change . . .”

“I’m sorry,” Shin whispered, “To-chan.” Touma had always hated that little pet name, since it only served to remind him that he was the youngest of the group. Somehow when Shin said it he didn’t really feel like he was being teased. Shin bent over Touma, and touched his lips lightly to the younger man’s forehead while Touma was still too startled to react. “There’s nothing I can do, even though I don’t want to make you unhappy.”

Shin was too perceptive for his own good. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

With a last, gentle squeeze at Touma’s hand, Shin left him alone with his thoughts.

Touma lay, staring up at the ceiling, half bewildered. A few days ago that kiss would have been a dream come true. What was wrong with him? He loved Shin. He was lusting after him so much that he was going to get himself in trouble, wasn’t he? So why did he suddenly find himself comparing Shin to Anubisu?

Touma’s head spun. He suddenly wasn’t sure what to think about what had happened. What they had done had felt good, even though Anubisu had said things he didn’t want to hear. Now that he thought about it, those were the same sort of words Shin must hear every day.

‘You’re mine now.’ He could still hear those words inside of his mind. He could almost feel Anubisu’s breath against his ear. ‘Mine.’ He had heard Seiji say similar things when he thought no one else could hear. But when Seiji said things like that, he really meant ‘I love you.’ Touma was sure of that.

He was also sure that Anubisu couldn’t have meant that. He couldn’t have.

“That bastard,” Touma muttered. He wasn’t going to think about Anubisu any more. He refused to. He reached up and turned off the light, almost defiantly. He had taken to sleeping with the lights on. The darkness was Anubisu’s territory, but now he no longer cared. Curling up on his side, Touma tried to sleep.

It felt like hours went by. The darkness pressed in close around Touma. It was suffocating him. He imagined it settling in his lungs, making him remember Anubisu’s kiss. He couldn’t breathe while that mouth was on his. That dark musky taste that Touma would recognize even in his sleep.

Touma imagined he could see Anubisu in the darkness behind his eyes. He couldn’t escape the other man even inside of his own mind.

‘You feel so good Tenku.’ Touma shuddered. He didn’t want to hear this. ‘My Touma.’ Anubisu’s voice echoed inside of his head. There was a dark tenderness in his voice which Touma had not noticed before.

“Touma.”

Touma tensed. That voice wasn’t in his head. His eyes snapped open. All that greeted him was dark, pressing in on his eyes. He closed his eyes again, took a deep breath, and reached for the light switch. A strong hand caught his wrist, halting it.

“Anubisu!” Touma cried, trying to pull his hand back. “Let go of me!” He struggled.

“Hai.” Anubisu wrapped one arm around Touma to pull him close against his chest as he reached out to turn the light on for him.

Touma looked up, and was momentarily blinded. He suddenly realized Anubisu had moved him so close to shield him from the light, which felt unnaturally bright after such complete darkness. Touma hadn’t expected such a considerate gesture, but now he realized it must have been a natural reaction for someone who enjoyed darkness.

“What are you doing here?” Touma demanded. Conflicting emotions surged through him. Even though he was disgusted with the thought of Anubisu wanting to claim him, like his own personal toy, tingling warmth spread through his body. His body was quite willing to welcome Anubisu into his bed, even as he glared at the older man with all the venom he could muster. He had to force himself to feel ready to fight Anubisu off if he had to.

“I wanted to see you.” Anubisu pulled Touma more tightly against his chest, smiling down at him predatorily. “Among other things.”

“Let go of me!” Touma demanded. “What makes you think I’d want to see you after what you did?”

“You enjoyed it,” Anubisu whispered against his ear. “I remember it quite well.”

Touma blushed a furious red. “That’s beside the point.”

“Then what is the point?” Anubisu was so close that Touma had to remind himself to breathe properly, but his touch was only teasing, forcing Touma to concentrate on not pressing up into that touch. This was entirely unfair. No matter what his body wanted, Touma could not afford to give in.

“You disgust me.”

“Do I?” Anubisu hissed angrily. “You do not disgust me.”

Touma pulled away nervously. He knew perfectly well what Anubisu felt for him. Lust. Nothing else. “You’re putrid, unsufferable, you’re. . .”

“You’re not happy with how I went about seducing you,” Anubisu smiled wickedly, prompting Touma to gulp nervously. He didn’t like the look Anubisu was giving him. “Was I too rough?”

“I could have had a broken leg for all you knew, you bastard! You shouldn’t have even touched me!”

“Then shall we try again?” Anubisu purred, moving forward to press Touma back onto the bed. Touma struggled, punching Anubisu in the face to make him move away.

“Don’t touch me! I’m not your toy!”

“But I want to play with you,” Anubisu teased in a rare burst of humor. “I want to make you mine.”

“That’s the problem,” Touma snarled. “I don’t want to be your possession!”

“Not possession, lover.” Anubisu passed his hands over Touma’s body. “As my lover and mine alone. Why does that offend you?”

Touma went still. He didn’t want to hear this out of Anubisu. It would have been so much simpler if the former Masho had just stayed where he belonged and left him alone.

“I can’t stand you,” Touma lied. “I never wanted to have sex with you.”

“You never told me to stop.”

Silence stretched out from those words, smothering both of them. Touma wanted to reach out to Anubisu, the only one who could save him from the silence. He couldn’t take back what he had said only seconds before. He couldn’t admit what he wanted.

But if he left it unsaid, Anubisu would leave. He would leave and let silence keep echoing in Touma’s ears forever.

“Wait,” Touma begged, latching on to Anubisu’s waist. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how he could ever explain. To avoid becoming trapped he had to deny everything. He had to deny the heat pounding between his legs, inside his head, and behind his ribs.

Anubisu took one look at Touma’s unhappy face and pulled him close. He understood. His mouth closed over Touma’s, cutting off any further need for talk. Touma found himself lifted clean off of his feet in Anubisu’s powerful embrace.

In seconds they were sprawled on the bed, bodies twining and pressing together. Touma was stretched out in a dominating position across Anubisu’s chest. Even while they had argued, their hands and mouths still knew each other well. Anubisu knew just where to touch to produce sweet, inarticulate cries from his lover. He knew just how tightly to hold him, just how to exploit each sensitive spot in his mouth.

Touma, in return, could think of at least one trick to drive Anubisu wild. He reached down, and slid both hands briefly over the sensitive skin of Anubisu’s inner thighs. Anubisu threw his head back, making an animal noise in his throat. He threw his legs apart and suddenly Touma was very aware of the arousal straining to escape his clothing.

He ran his hands over the same spots again, producing another moan. Touma suspected that the scars that covered the rest of Anubisu’s body had made it hard for him to feel much of anything, that his nerves were all probably well beyond repair, but at least this one part of him was unmarked, and therefore exquisitely, deliciously sensitive.

Finally Touma felt that he was in control. He wasn’t going to get screwed this time. Then Anubisu flipped them both over, slamming Touma onto his back. He forced Touma’s mouth open and worked his tongue inside. Touma squirmed, pushing up at the body covering his own. He couldn’t submit, not to his former enemy. Could he?

“Let me,” Anubisu whispered. “Let me do it.”

“I can’t . . .” Touma gasped.

Anubisu kissed him once in an almost tender gesture. “Let go,” he urged.

Touma slowly relaxed and let Anubisu touch him. Hands slid under his shirt and into his pants, raising cries of appreciation as Anubisu clutched his backside firmly.

“Good. Don’t fight me. I won’t let you escape now.” Touma shook his head wildly. Anubisu smoothed his hands over the archer’s chest. “Mine.”

“No, not yours,” Touma insisted. He couldn’t resist now. Tears were burning behind his eyes. His body screamed for Anubisu’s. He couldn’t make it stop. He couldn’t . . .

“Mine.” Anubisu caught Touma’s face firmly between his hands. “Because I love you.”

Touma stared. They were both breathing hard, irrational. There was nothing they could do now but complete it, find their pleasure in each other.

“Shut up.” Touma grabbed onto the back of Anubisu’s head and pulled him down for a fierce kiss. Their hips ground together in a helpless dance of pleasure.

“I love . . .” Anubisu moaned, thrusting his arousal down into Touma’s. “Ah! Touma, just you.”

“Not now,” Touma growled. They moved together. No words now. Just touch. Just them driving one another crazy.

“Take off your clothes,” Anubisu ordered. His hand were already pushing Touma’s pants down around his hips. Touma obeyed immediately, arching up to remove the clothing holding his body apart from Anubisu’s. Anubisu did the same, flinging his clothing about the room in the work of a few seconds before pouncing on Touma.

“Ah!” Anubisu’s scars were rough on Touma’s suddenly exposed skin. He forced Touma’s legs up and apart, making him cry out again, louder.

Anubisu pushed his fingers into Touma, preparing him, and Touma couldn’t help himself. He could feel the rational parts of his mind shutting down, defeated, as he pushed himself up into those fingers, driving them deeper into his body.

“Get up,” Anubisu commanded, his fingers deserted Touma, making him feel empty. Touma sat up, trembling, and Anubisu maneuvered him onto his knees, running his hands admiringly over Touma’s sides as he moved behind him. Touma clenched both hands on the headboard and tensed up, expecting pain, but it didn’t come.

“Did you think I would be so unprepared?” Anubisu’s fingers thrust back inside, slippery this time. Touma made a strangled noise and pressed his face into his arms. He couldn’t predict what to expect out of Anubisu. The slowly working fingers were torture, stroking him without really satisfying his body.

Chuckling to himself, Anubisu bent his head and swiped his tongue along a thin scar on the outside of Touma’s thigh. Touma groaned, pushing back into Anubisu. He was ready now. He wanted Anubisu to hurry up and do it. Anubisu’s tongue moved up and slid along Touma’s side, tormenting him.

“Should I stop, Touma?” Anubisu pushed Touma’s legs further apart and moved between them. Touma could feel against his backside how hard Anubisu was. How dare he tease!

Touma rocked back, trying to make Anubisu shut up and get going, but Anubisu had a firm grip on his hips, and there was only so much he could do.

“Tell me what you want,” he demanded. Touma choked.

“I can’t . . .” Touma was ashamed to feel tears stinging at the corners of his eyes. He was not going to cry in front of Anubisu. “Please . . .”

Again Anubisu took pity on him. His arms slipped around Touma’s waist and down to stroke his erection as he pushed forward into Touma. Sobbing for breath, Touma pushed back, forcing Anubisu deeper and asking for more. It shouldn’t feel this good, part of him insisted. But it did. Already he was on the edge.

Anubisu knew he was almost gone, and his hands deserted Touma’s arousal to clench around his hips as he began to thrust into him. Touma didn’t need his hands to come, and he had denied his own need too long. Dimly he was aware of Touma bitting his own hand in an attempt to keep from crying out. Angrily he grabbed a handful of blue hair and wrenched his lover’s head back. He had no more patience left for Touma’s resistance.

Touma bit his own lips in a final struggle for silence before Anubisu drove him over the edge. He screamed out words he couldn’t even hear over the rushing in his own ears, and felt Anubisu’s hands dig even deeper as he climaxed as well.

Touma would have wanted to collapse bonelessly onto the bed, but Anubisu was still holding his backside elevated. He looked around and immediately wanted to shy away from the other man. Anubisu looked like he was ready to go again right at that moment.

Slowly Anubisu let Touma lay down and curled around him. He stroked Touma’s hair, his face, his back, and anywhere else he could reach. He was very much in the mood to be affectionate with Touma after their activities. Even when Touma’s supposed better judgement resurfaced and he tried to retreat at least to the other side of the bed Anubisu didn’t argue. He would straighten Touma out in the morning. If it led to more sex . . . well, that would be even better. He was willing to forgive Touma for almost anything after hearing Touma scream his name.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place right after chapter 2.

Touma found himself unexpectedly warm when he woke up the next morning. He shifted around, snuggling deeper into the blankets. He wasn’t sure why he was so nice and warm, but he was going to enjoy it. The man behind him shifted as well, hugging Touma even closer to his chest, and Touma was suddenly very aware of something hard pressing against his backside.

“Wha?” Touma tried to turn around, but he already knew exactly who he would find. Anubisu caught him by the chin and kissed him before he could react.

“Hey!” Touma tried to escape his bedmate, but Anubisu didn’t seem very willing to let go of him. He trapped Touma against the pillows and showered his exposed skin with good morning kisses.

“Stop fighting me.” Anubisu forced Touma’s legs apart with his knee and pulled Touma forward so he was straddling Anubisu’s thigh. In this position there was very little that Touma could hide, though he expected Anubisu had already known. “Stop resisting when you know you want it.”

“Oh shut up! It was that way when I woke up.” Touma knew he couldn’t fight the fact that Anubisu turned him on very much, but still . . . “And even if my body likes it, that doesn’t really mean anything.”

“Doesn’t it?” Anubisu looked honestly curious, though his thigh was still moving, shifting Touma back and forth on top of it. “Are your mind and body so separate?”

“I’m a teenager, you idiot, I get turned on by nothing.” It was embarrassing to say things like that, which he had wished weren’t true, but they were his only ammo right now. Anubisu pushed against him a little harder and it became even more difficult to think straight.

“Don’t take me so lightly,” he warned. He wanted to continue to press Touma on the subject, but they both needed to finish something else off right now. He moved to spread Touma’s legs wide, and met with an unexpected amount of resistance.

“Don’t.” Touma pushed Anubisu’s hands away from his legs. His body didn’t seem to be aware of his own words, his hands were guiding Anubisu down on top of him again. Anubisu was so endeared by Touma’s willingness that he almost didn’t notice that Touma was really trying to block him from his goal.

“Sore?”

Touma nodded, looking embarrassed again. Anubisu smirked and moved to kneel between Touma’s legs as he forced them apart. Touma yelped, then gasped as Anubisu bent and took Touma’s length into his mouth.

Hands coming down to touch himself, Anubisu ignored the reflex to start gagging and swallowed, pulling the hard flesh as far into his mouth and down his throat as he could get it. Touma seemed to be getting over his shock at having another man do this to him very quickly, if the moans of pleasure he was producing were any indication.

Anubisu only wished he could see Touma’s face as he did this. He could only imagine Touma’s changing expression as he changed his attack, swirling his tongue around the shaft, then letting his teeth graze the sensitive skin. Touma clenched one hand in Anubisu’s hair, pulling it violently as he came, struggling not to cry out.

Dropping the flesh from his mouth, Anubisu clenched his hands and brought himself off quickly, almost angrily. That hadn’t been nearly as satisfying as he’d expected, Touma had kept from calling out his name this time, and he was going to punish him for pulling his hair.

Touma’s other hand rested in Anubisu’s hair, more lightly, and tilted his face up. Anubisu stared. Touma was relaxed in a way Anubisu had only been able to see him right after they had sex. His lips parted slightly, and though his whisper was too soft to hear Anubisu knew Touma had said his name.

Anubisu had heard about the possibility of fucking someone’s brains out, and with Touma that seemed to be exactly the case. His inhibitions melted away when they had finished, leaving him relaxed and almost loving. Anubisu’s thumb traced the scar on the outside of Touma’s thigh as he drew closer, aiming to kiss him thoroughly.

“Holy . . .” Touma’s relaxed state vanished as he whipped around. Anubisu cursed the man who stood in the doorway, frozen in shock.

“Seiji!” Touma was just as stunned as his friend. Why did he have to walk in on him with Anubisu of all people?

“Sorry, I’ll talk to you later,” Seiji backed away quickly, plainly flustered after walking in on such an intimate moment. He shut the door before Anubisu could charge and extract proper revenge from his ‘other half’ for killing the mood.

“How much do you think he saw?”

“Enough.” Anubisu was sure this would have a bad effect on his attempts to seduce Touma. Seiji would pay for it later.

“I guess he had to find out sometime,” Touma commented, strangely calm now that Seiji was no longer staring at them. Anubisu watched out of the corner of his eye as Touma attempted to brush his hair back into some semblance of order with his fingers. Anubisu wasn’t sure why. It looked the same way it always had. Touma really was acting much too calm about all of this.

“Shit.” Anubisu tensed, ready to snatch Touma up to keep him from hurting himself. He looked like he was about to snap. “Mind if I just throw myself out the window now . . .” he muttered to himself. Anubisu wasn’t sure it was meant to be a question. Touma continued talking to himself, head in his hands so that Anubisu couldn’t hear him properly. “With the stupid timing and . . . Seiji you jerk . . . how the hell . . . with Shin . . . so fucking stupid . . . can’t even wait so . . .”

Anubisu leaned forward and shook Touma by the shoulders to break him out of his tangent. Touma’s eyes focused on him for a moment, then he stood up and stalked over to his closet to look for clothes.

“Made up my mind. I’m mad at you.” This seemed to be his idea of small talk. In spite of himself Anubisu was beginning to enjoy these arguments.

“Want me to make it better?” Anubisu could move soundlessly when he wanted to, and now he slipped up behind Touma, wrapped his arms around him and gave him a squeeze. It was quite obvious to both of them that his meaning was a sexual one.

“Not really. I’ve got enough explaining to do as it is.” Touma slipped out of his arms, playing innocent.

“About why I was-”

“Yes!” Touma hissed, cutting him off. “And after all the noise we were making last night don’t you think I’m going to be harassed for not telling anyone I have a horny Masho sleeping with me?”

Anubisu really didn’t see how this was a problem. “You said yourself it was just your body.” Anubisu got closer, breathing his words into Touma’s ear, “Tell them we’re just fucking.” He let his tongue flick out against the edge of Touma’s ear on the last word. “Then we can get back to bed and do it all over again.”

“Yeah, if I say that maybe Shu will kill you for me.” Anubisu flicked his tongue against Touma’s ear again, ignoring the griping. This time he let his mouth move forward more aggressively and sucked on the defenseless lobe.

Touma honestly considered this a possibility. Shu had actually abandoned the idea of looking after him simply because he was the youngest fairly quickly, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t protect him from a cruel lover. He would do that for any of them.

Maybe there was another way around it? No. No matter what it really was he couldn’t explain this whole thing off to his friends as just sex. He was not going to give them the chance to look down on him for that. In the end maybe he was better off going along with Anubisu. At least he wouldn’t be alone, even if other possibilities were completely cut off by that strategy. Hell, Shin had rejected him already anyway.

“So . . .” Touma stared straight ahead, not wanting to move or look at Anubisu and give himself away. “It’s just sex, right? It doesn’t mean anything to you either.” He knew Anubisu had told him otherwise but he was going to ignore that. Touma thought Anubisu hesitated for a moment before answering, but he couldn’t really be sure.

“Finally giving in?” Anubisu purred against Touma’s neck, and Touma decided he must have been imagining it. Touma relaxed. “Good. It’s about time.” He bit lightly at the junction of Touma’s neck and shoulder.

“Let’s get one thing straight,” Touma felt more in control now, and his voice was firmer as a result, “I am not yours. No more possessiveness. I’m in love with someone else.” Anubisu did not waver, and Touma felt safe that he had gauged things successfully.

“Then one more thing,” Anubisu insisted. “I get to be on top.” His hands ran teasingly over Touma’s hips, effectively reminding him that he was still unclothed. It was worth it. As long as he still had most of his dignity intact.

“Fine.” With all of Anubisu’s teasing, Touma was almost ready to get to bed and consummate the deal right then and there. Anubisu, however, made it obvious that he loved to torment him, and he had other plans.

“Then I’ll have to visit you again,” he teased, suddenly leaving Touma. He knew he was leaving both of them frustrated, but he didn’t care as long as he got some measure of revenge on Touma out of it. He shouldn’t have gone so far last night and told Touma he loved him. That had to be the root of the problem. He would sway Touma eventually. He knew that for sure after hearing Touma scream his name last night.

Touma no longer knew what to think of things. He decided to be relieved when Anubisu left him and collapsed on the bed to think. Shin had been his crush, the center of his world, the person he had really been in love with . . . so why? Why did he see Anubisu when he closed his eyes? Why didn’t his thoughts of Shin lead him to the same fantasies they used to? Touma didn’t really want to think about what all of those things might mean.

Impulsively Touma crossed the room to open his window and called down, voice almost a whisper, but trusting that Anubisu would be close enough to hear, “Come back soon.”


	4. Chapter 4

Anubisu came for him often, visiting at least long enough to spend a night in Touma’s bed, or dragging him off to the netherworld for his fun. After their second night together there was no more talk of love, or the lack of it. They became used to each other, began to enjoy each other’s company, began to get used to each other’s needs and preferences.

Then Anubisu stopped coming. He had always come at least twice a week, but Touma hadn’t seen him for almost a month. He couldn’t believe himself sometimes, pining for Anubisu the way he was. His crush on Shin had faded into a closer and more comfortable friendship, and now he almost regretted it. It hadn’t been really a choice to hang on to those feelings or to let them go, but he still began to wish he hadn’t lost them, if only just so that he would have something to distract him from missing Anubisu.

Touma stalked upstairs, more frustrated with his own buildup of sexual tension since Anubisu had deserted him than with anything going on in the kitchen. He was normally ready to forgive Shin and Seiji for their flirting, but right now it was just too much on top of everything else. They only got that close to each other when they thought no one else was watching, but that didn’t make it any less embarrassing when someone walked in on them.

Sighing, Touma collapsed face-first onto his bed, not even bothering to turn on the lights. He knew his friends weren’t trying to rub in the fact that they had stable relationships while he didn’t, but that didn’t stop him from being annoyed with them. Seiji cuddling up against Shin in the kitchen while Shin laughed and scolded and made it very obvious that he didn’t really want Seiji to stop was something he could handle, but when he left that scene only to find Shu and Ryo napping together on the couch, when fitting two people on there required that they be pressed that close together, that was more then he could take.

Happy couples, Anubisu’s inconsistencies, Touma didn’t want to put up with it anymore. Almost without thinking about it, Touma pushed himself down against the bed. A few seconds of thought was all he needed for the decision that, for the moment, he was better off pleasuring himself.

“Mm,” Touma slid one hand under himself, rubbing slowly at the frustrated arousal he had been trying to keep in check all day. He sighed again, with pleasure instead of anger. Arching, Touma pushed his hips up so he could wedge his hand more firmly under himself.

“Ah. . .” Touma turned his head, pressing his cheek into the quilt under him so he could breathe. He unfastened his pants and slid his hands inside to clench around his own erection, bringing himself to the edge with quick, hard strokes. He let his mouth fall open and squeezed his eyes closed, pushing his hips into his own grip in short, quick thrusts.

Gasping, Touma’s muscles clenched as he came in his pants. He lay still, eyes closed as the slight buzz from his orgasm worked its way through his system. Not as good as real sex, but it was enough for the moment. Touma clenched his teeth for a moment in frustration, damning Anubisu for getting him hooked on that. He couldn’t quit thinking about it now.

A cold breeze blew across Touma, startling him into looking around over his shoulder. His window was wide open, though he didn’t remember leaving it that way. Cold air blew up under his shirt from a second breeze, prompting him to sit up, and making him wonder how he could have not noticed it before.

Even with his senses fuzzy, Touma quickly realized that he wasn’t alone. He automatically knew what to expect. His attention went to the shadows. Anubisu’s instincts were against him for once as Touma switched on the lights, making Anubisu suddenly visible where he was lingering in the darkness by the window. Touma glared angrily at him. He suspected Anubisu had been watching him before, and he was not happy about that.

“Where have you been?” He demanded. How dare Anubisu disappear like that and then show up just to watch him jack off! Touma reached under his pillow, his hand closing around something he’d been saving just in case Anubisu did come back.

“Did you miss me?” Anubisu managed to seem completely unaffected. He approached as if he had not just been discovered lurking and reached out to catch Touma. Touma had dealt with this long enough to know what he was after. This time, however, he did not intend to be taken advantage of, and he knew how to fight back.

“Sure.” Touma let Anubisu bend over him to kiss at his neck and collarbone. He nuzzled up, letting Anubisu think he was going to get what he wanted for a moment before he withdrew his hand from where it was hidden under the pillow.

They kissed, tongues dueling as Touma leaned up and clasped one half of the handcuffs he was holding on Anubisu’s wrist. The former Masho held up his arm and blinked at the metal restraint, amused. At least he was amused until Touma wound the chain around the bedpost, got the other cuff on him, and slipped out of his arms and out of reach.

“What’s this, Touma?” Anubisu twisted in a way that did not look at all comfortable to get as close to Touma as he could.

Touma stretched, arching and extending both hands over his head, feeling quite satisfied with himself. “Why don’t you just stay there while I clean up?” he teased. If Anubisu was going to disappear on him for full month, then he could just wait around for as long as Touma felt like making him wait.

Blowing him a goodbye kiss, Touma shut Anubisu in his room, looking stunned and furious. Touma grinned to himself, sliding the key to his cuffs into his pocket. Really, Anubisu should have expected revenge.

Touma took his sweet time at dinner and even volunteered to help clean up afterward. He could just imagine how angry Anubisu would be at him by the time he got back to him, and that was more than enough to make him happy. It would serve him right.

Unfortunately, given more than a few hours Anubisu might figure out a way to get out of the handcuffs. Touma knew that if Anubisu managed that he would be in trouble. He had gotten his revenge, and now they could move on.

Anubisu obviously didn’t see it that way, though. He was laying in wait for Touma when he got back to his room. Though he managed to get in a few good blows at his attacker, Touma felt himself swept off of his feet and onto the bed. Anubisu pinned him, plainly angry and sick of waiting for him to come back. Touma could empathize.

“Where were you!” Anubisu’s hands didn’t wander the way they usually did. Instead they were locked on Touma’s shoulders, preventing his escape. Touma only raised one eyebrow at Anubisu in response. He was angrier then Touma had been, and he had only waited an hour or two instead of several days.

“After all the trouble I go to so I can come here you . . .” Anubisu made an angry noise in his chest and dropped Touma. His hands clenched at his sides, clearly trying to keep from hitting him, his whole body was ridged with anger.

Touma knew he shouldn’t say it, but he couldn’t help himself. “Doesn’t seem like you were trying very hard.”

“Tenku!” For one moment Touma thought Anubisu was going to hurt him. He expected it. Anubisu grabbed a handful of his hair and yanked him up painfully, kissing him with an almost hostile force. Touma gasped, fingers catching at Anubisu as his mouth was ravaged by the lips and tongue pressing against it.

Touma didn’t want to struggle at first. Anubisu was holding him so tightly that it almost hurt. He arched up into the older man, suddenly aware of how much he had missed this. It was too much though, his body shuddered as his lungs began to burn from the kiss.

Touma wrenched his mouth away, gasping in a lung-full of air gratefully. “I can’t breathe, you idiot,” he gasped.

“I don’t care,” Anubisu growled before forcing his mouth over Touma’s again. Touma hung on to him, letting Anubisu do what he wanted until he calmed. He didn’t think he’d ever experienced such a violent kiss.

Slowly Anubisu let himself settle into pressing a series of smaller kisses against Touma’s lips. He nibbled on Touma’s lower lip, drawing it out between his teeth.

“Anuithu,” Touma found his ability to speak hampered by Anubisu hanging onto his lip. He reached up to touch his face lightly, testing to see if he was calm now.

Anubisu let go of Touma, sitting up. He had probably left bruises on Touma’s upper arms from clutching him so hard, but he could have done worse.

“We’re always going to fight like this, aren’t we?” The words would have been sad, even wistful, coming from someone else, but for Anubisu they held nothing but bitterness. “You’re never going to get it.” He stood up, ready to leave.

Touma was silent. Anubisu was hesitating a little, as if he wanted to be called back, but Touma couldn’t even tell what he wanted, let alone how to give it to him.

“You’re a real jerk sometimes,” he yelled at Anubisu’s retreating back. “You must just live to drive me crazy.”

“You do quite a bit of that yourself.” Anubisu had paused. He didn’t really want to leave, that much was plain to Touma.

“How? You,” Touma made a noise of frustration, hitting his pillow in anger. “You always make sure you know exactly how to drive me crazy while keeping me in the dark. How do you expect me to know what’s going on in your mind? And now I’m so used to having you around . . .” Touma bit his lip. He wanted to be angrier at Anubisu then he was, but the heat just wouldn’t come. “And now you just get tired of me and leave? Is this your idea of fun?”

“You think this is fun?”

“I think you’re a sadist.” Touma knew this wasn’t getting them anywhere. “And what did you do with my handcuffs, anyway?”

Anubisu smiled wickedly, holding them out. Touma had given him just the right excuse to keep going. “Thank you for reminding me. I still have to pay you back for what you did before.”

Before Touma could react, Anubisu pounced. He didn’t put up much of a fight as Anubisu cuffed his hands with the chain looped over the headboard. He hadn’t really wanted Anubisu to leave, though he wasn’t about to admit that out loud.

Anubisu ran his hands over Touma’s body, nearly purring in happiness. It had been a long time since they had been together and they were both looking forward to what Anubisu was going to do.

Touma jerked under Anubisu’s hands as his pants were unfastened and yanked off. Anubisu paused for only a moment to stroke Touma roughly through his underwear before he stripped those off as well. Already Touma knew that Anubisu was too eager. It had felt like such a long time since they had touched each other and now they were going to end up rushing through this.

“Anubisu, wait a minute.” Touma jerked up, shocked, as Anubisu forced two fingers inside of him. They were already slippery. Touma couldn’t get the breath to protest as Anubisu grabbed hold of his length with his free hand and started to fondle it roughly.

It didn’t really matter if Anubisu rushed, Touma convinced himself, so he could relax and enjoy what Anubisu was doing. They would get plenty of other chances to do this to each other. He was no longer happy to think of what they did together as an arrangement that was decided night by night. They were lovers. They were going to be together for a long time.

With this decided Touma had no more need to ask Anubisu to wait. He didn’t even care if Anubisu was rough with him. There was no shred of guilt as he realized he was enjoying the rough treatment.

“Spread you legs wider,” Anubisu commanded, forcing Touma’s legs up and apart. Touma didn’t even try to resist. He wrapped his legs around Anubisu, pulling the former Masho closer. He couldn’t help shivering in anticipation when he felt Anubisu’s cock pressing against his backside.

With a groan that Touma was sure he could feel vibrating across the air between them, Anubisu pushed himself inside. Touma clenched his teeth. The first flash of pain lasted less than a second, and already he wanted more.

Anubisu was holding himself completely still, panting and stroking Touma’s erection with his fingertips. Touma knew what Anubisu wanted. He was not going to beg. He refused to open his mouth because he knew if he did he was going to start demanding that Anubisu hurry up.

“Does this feel good?” Anubisu’s hand clenched around his length, then suddenly deserted it.

Touma refused to answer Anubisu’s teasing, shifting his hips up in an attempt to get Anubisu to start moving.

“You’d be happy to let me tie you up and play with you like this any time I want to, wouldn’t you?” Anubisu persisted.

Touma’s self-control was slipping. He couldn’t stand to be tormented. “Yes.”

“Good boy,” Anubisu praised, starting to work himself in and out of Touma in long, slow thrusts. Touma knew from the animal sounds of pleasure he was trying to keep in that Anubisu was torturing himself as much as Touma by trying to hold back.

This was foolishness. Touma didn’t care about pride anymore. His body was demanding more and he wasn’t free to give himself the satisfaction that he craved.

“Harder,” Touma gasped. Anubisu’s eyes met his, uncomprehending. Touma clenched his legs around Anubisu’s waist in his impatience.

“Harder!” Touma demanded.

Anubisu couldn’t refuse. With a growl of pleasure, Anubisu let go of his attempts to hold back. Within seconds he was slamming into Touma’s helpless body.

“Ah!” Touma clenched his hands, twisting and trying to free himself, or at least to gain enough leverage to participate in what Anubisu was doing to him. Right now he could only sob Anubisu’s name in pleasure.

Anubisu wasn’t going to last long. Already he was bent over, pressing his face into Touma’s chest as he finished with a few last, hard trusts.

Touma thrashed angrily. Anubisu had collapsed happily onto him after his orgasm, but Touma was still not satisfied. He pushed his hips up unto Anubisu’s relaxed body, trying to finish himself.

“So eager,” Anubisu purred with amusement. He picked himself up and grabbed Touma’s legs, holding them down and apart so he couldn’t satisfy himself.

“Stop that, you bastard!” Touma did not like being teased this way. He couldn’t do anything to make Anubisu finish him the way Touma wanted him to.

“Shall I just leave you this way?”

“No!” Touma kicked at Anubisu in his anger. He was sick of being played with.

Anubisu smirked evilly at him. “It’s just sex, so why don’t I let you finish up yourself?”

Touma suspected that Anubisu somehow knew he had recently decided he had new feelings about their relationship. He cursed Anubisu for seeing through him so easily. It took him a moment to realize that Anubisu didn’t actually understand. He was just still mad.

“If you leave now I’m never going to forgive you.”

Anubisu looked startled. Then, Touma almost couldn’t believe it, Anubisu bent and took Touma’s flagging erection in his mouth. Touma knew he was being rewarded for telling Anubisu what he wanted to hear, but he didn’t care.

Touma tugged at the handcuffs again. He wanted to touch Anubisu back after everything Anubisu had done to him. Arching up into the wet heat of Anubisu’s mouth, Touma couldn’t help gasping at the way Anubisu’s tongue was ravishing his length.

Now that he had Touma throughly within his power, Anubisu purred with contentment, the vibrations making Touma choke on his own cry as he shuddered and came.

“Anubisu,” Touma sunk back into his bed, shaking in the aftermath of his orgasm. He didn’t even have the energy to enjoy Anubisu lapping at his thighs as he cleaned up all the evidence of Touma’s pleasure. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to stand after everything Anubisu had put him through.

Anubisu finally reached up and freed him from the handcuffs. Touma’s wrists were red and sore from struggling so hard against them. He hadn’t even noticed them cutting into him at the time, but now they were throbbing painfully.

“Now,” Anubisu wrapped Touma’s limp body up in his arms. Touma hoped he didn’t want to start going again already. “Did you miss me?”

“Idiot.” Touma didn’t try to stop Anubisu from cuddling him. “How do you expect me not to miss you?” He was too tired and happy to argue right now. He hadn’t realized quite how much he had missed Anubisu until just this moment.

Anubisu kissed the marks on Touma’s wrists with an almost reverent tenderness, but otherwise he didn’t respond to Touma’s words. Touma was sure he must be quite happy to hear any endearment. He found himself remembering what Anubisu had kept insisting when they first started doing this.

Touma opened his eyes, and couldn’t quite place the expression on Anubisu’s face. He dropped one of Touma’s wrists and moved to kiss the other one, lapping his tongue against the sorest spots.

“Do you still love me?” Touma wasn’t sure why he was asking, but he found himself hoping the answer would be ‘yes.’

“Does it matter?” Anubisu sounded more curious than angry. He was kissing Touma’s hands now, sucking on the indentations Touma had made by digging his nails into his palms.

“I was just thinking it wouldn’t be bad if I was yours.” Touma decided that was too ambiguous and added, angry at himself, “I want to be yours.”

“Do you love me?” Anubisu wanted to know in return.

“Does. . .” no, of course it matters, Touma thought, cutting off his question. “I don’t know yet.”

“Yes, I do.” Anubisu answered his earlier question as he dropped Touma’s hand and moved to cup the back of Touma’s head instead. “Does that help?”

“I don’t know,” Touma still couldn’t be sure exactly what love was supposed to be, “I’ll tell you later.”

“Tenku. . .” Anubisu was getting annoyed with him.

“Okay, fine. Yes. Sure. As much as you want.” Touma relented. He didn’t feel like arguing any more. “But only because it makes you happy.”

“Close enough.” And with those words Anubisu wrapped Touma gently in his arms and let him sleep. And this time he was still there in the morning.

And the next morning, and the next. . . because neither of them wanted him to leave.


End file.
